(I started writing this almost a month ago but only got around to finishing it now. I know, I still have another part coming up... A thousand apologies!)
By now, it's kinda an established fact that people often call me up to emcee stuff for them. Not blowing my own horn here
1, but I've been getting somewhat good at it. However, I still have to admit that I don't think I'm
that good enough yet to begin charging for my services. Seriously, the part I dread most while emceeing is being asked to come up with filler material while stagehands are setting things up; it's nerve-racking coming up with random things to say while waiting for stuff to happen. Last year, while emceeing the Monash Dance Fusion concert, for filler I just blurted nonsense which, although really funny for some, may have rubbed others the wrong way, to the extent that there was about three to five seconds of awkward silence from which I had to dig myself out of. Those were some of the longest seconds of my life.
I have a feeling that the best emcees probably have a joke book tucked away somewhere from which they'd just recite in case of such an emergency. I guess this means I have to start one too, that'd be pretty useful... Or maybe not. As it is, it's not like I'm being asked to emcee at corporate functions or anything, so I guess I can put that book thing off for the moment.
Anyway, onto the storytelling. A year ago while I was helping the choir out
2 at the YCA Choralthon
3, I received a phone call from Jin Hwa
4. He basically asked me for two favours:
1) Help him emcee the ASEAN International Buddhist Youth Exchange (IBYE) Concert in January 2010
2) Help emcee David and Aderina's (mutual friends of ours) wedding, also in January 2010
As I enjoyed myself emceeing something similar
back in December 2007 (felt like it happened just yesterday!), I said yes to doing the concert almost immediately. The wedding gig, on the other hand, I was a bit hesitant because I've only done it once, and even then, to an audience that was admittedly easy to please since half of them didn't speak English. Flattered that David thought so highly of me, and considering that I probably needed practice anyways,
and the fact that these opportunities to test myself aren't going to come as often once I leave uni, I accepted.
Flash forward to 9 January 2010. The ASEAN IBYE Concert was a collaboration between a few Buddhist associations, and like all collaborations, had a propensity for communication and/or organisational breakdown. There were so many changes made over the course of the day that I might as well have skipped all the previous meetings I've had with some of the key planners of the event. Oh well, in situations like these, what can you do but your best?
Thus began a day of frantic information gathering, marked by all the usual questions; the "What do you want me to say?"s, the "Whom should I acknowledge?"s, and sometimes, the "Can I make fun of this dude?"s
5. Thereafter armed with the required data, I scrambled to prepare my cue cards (lifesavers, these things), which I didn't manage to complete by the time of the so-called dress rehearsal (I was still in my shorts!). I winged almost half the entire thing, much to the chagrin of some of the performers who were waiting their turn in the peanut gallery. I've never made so many Freudian slips in my life; at one point, I actually said something along the lines of "They've performed in sixty-
sex cities around the world".
It didn't help that, just 30 minutes to the doors opening, people whom I've never seen before were coming up to me and informing me of changes to the program. Obviously, when stuff like this happens, I have to reconfirm the changes with those people whom I
have seen. 30 minutes before the show. While I've yet to finish preparing my cue cards. And I was
still in my shorts. The biggest bomb of all dropped about 15 minutes to doors opening while I was in the changing room, when I discover to my horror that I have left my black pants at home.
Cue series of expletives6
Of course, things always have a way of working themselves out. I managed to borrow a pair of black jeans from one of the stagehands, prompting some friends to ask "Why the hell is Zhen in a suit, shirt and tie but black
jeans?" I also managed to get through the entire show with only a minor blunder
7 but lots of laughs all round.
Black jeans conveniently hidden from sight
I went home that night feeling a lot better about myself, life, the universe, and everything. It was an exhausting but ultimately rather fulfilling experience. I began wondering if I have to engage myself in something like this every once in a while just to avoid rusting and stay sharp. And yet, I
still don't think that I'm good enough to start charging for my services, but who knows; maybe I will, someday.
Anyway, tune in sometime later this week as I talk about talking at David and Aderina's wedding, and about how I wasn't as awesome there as I was at the concert (but still awesomer than my usual level of awesome).
Footnotes:
1 - I can't reach it anyway.
Ba da bish!
2 - I only just remembered that I was asked to emcee for Jin Hwa and David while I was also emceeing for Susanna... Seems like I'm doing this a lot more often than I thought.
3 - Got a random story to share with you guys: I took the afternoon emceeing slot, so in the morning I helped out by manning the charity book sale booth. It was pretty fun(ny?) being a book salesman. I read the blurbs and then dazzle passers-by about how awesome the book is despite never reading it. It works for the most part, especially for the children's books.
4 - Three footnotes in a sentence! Jin Hwa, for those of you not in the know, is a friend I got to know during my stint participating in the Subang Jaya Buddhist Association's activities.
5 - The answer to that was a "No". I guessed as much, as it was a Buddhist concert. Luckily, I'm not too bad with self-deprecating humour, which I used to great response. Almost every Chinese-speaking Malaysian can appreciate a routine on being a banana, i.e. yellow on the outside, white on the inside.
6 - Mostly FUUUUUUUUUCK.
7 - I interrupted a Thai girl mid-speech, but to my defence, she was silent for almost 10 seconds before she continued! At least she's cute, or I may have held a grudge.
Oh, and just in case, I'm
kidding about the grudge thing. Some of you have no sense of humour. But she really
was kinda cute, though.
